it’s hard to be

on july 4th, i was out with my cousin parading around the LA area. on the train to downtown, i saw a lot of graffiti art scattered along walls, pavement, other trains, signs, and honestly anything you could get a spray can close to. i wasn’t able to take a good picture of any of the graffiti i saw due to the speed of the train and my poor picture-taking skills, but there was one that caught my eye that i haven’t been able to stop thinking about. as i approached union station, an empty train on a lone train track had in white paint: “it’s hard to be trans.” and it’s this moment i’ve taken in the true essence of graffiti. i’ve always appreciated the medium seeing it everywhere i go. i love the stylistic choices different people make and the territorialness of the medium. and while i’ve always known that art tells a story no matter the form, i’ve never grasped this idea until i seen this statement painted on a train that probably hasn’t been used in ages.

the story of this painted statement has sat with me for a while. where is this person? have they found peace? will they find peace? when was this painted? it’s easy to make up various scenarios about this little call for help and the sender behind it. i can’t help but hope they’re doing alright. that the troubles they faced have lightened and the world is a little easier for them to walk through. I can’t help but wonder if this was a recent painting or one from a while ago. if this person, in their troubled stupor, found a train and had a can in hand and wrote their deepest feelings. did they write anything else that day? or was that their only goal? a silent plea, a painted rant for someone to see on their train ride. 

so to this person, wherever they may be, i hope you are well. you cross my mind frequently and i can’t help but wish for a sign of your wellbeing and a wish that life is treating you much better than it was when you wrote.